Vibration: A Frequency Of My Own Pt. 1

When people talk about being unique, I think it is often misunderstood. That, or its meaning is at best seen from a superficial point of view. We must take into consideration that unique is an adjective, that carries with it a depth of importance. It means being the only one of its kind; unlike anything else. Particularly remarkable, special or unusual. Other words like it include: distinctive, distinct, individual, special, idiosyncratic, remarkable, special, singular, exceptional, noteworthy, notable, extraordinary.

I am not wanting to give English lesson, but from what I have seen, people use the word unique in such a hypocritical way. We cannot all be unique while trying to be the same. Now, let me explain what I mean. Why is it that we often try to encourage ourselves and others up by saying we are unique, but with every effort we tend to try to conform to the images that are set before us. 

Obviously, I am not wanting to make a vast generalization. I realize that this does not encapsulate the entire population of people on this planet. However, if you look at trends in society going from clothing styles, music styles, business models, educational systems, even successful people...you will begin to see how these mediums begin to vie for control to see people conform to their image. Again I am not wanting to make vast generalizations, just an observation of what I have been seeing over the past 27 years that I have been living, what I have noticed in my own life.

In my last blog I made mention of my personal frequency and how I vibrate through this thing called life. Hopefully this will bring some insight into who I am but ultimately freedom for those who want to take the adventure of a life time walking with Jesus through the unknown. The journey of understanding how we are wired is what I perceive to be a life long adventure. 

In years past I have taken many personality assessments. Most notably has been the Myers-Briggs which I have typically scored INFP (The Dreamer) and ENFP (The Advocate) with relative consistency. How that happens I am unsure, but I do know that as a result I fluctuate between being introverted and extroverted.  Even with a test like this it just goes to show just how "unique" one can be. Normally with these test one should typically get the same personality score 90% of the time. Yet for me it is usually about 50%. As for the reason why...I am still unsure. Either way If you were to look up the personality profile of both of these personality types you will begin to have a better picture of what I am like...even though that picture is incomplete. 

As I have been living on the ranch, I happened upon a book called Frequency: Discovering Your Unique Connection To God by Eric Parks and Casey Bankord. At first I was simply going to by pass the book as it felt like many other self-assessment books I had read in the past. However, I was shocked to find myself hearing the voice of the Lord tell me to take some time to read this book. I am thankful that He gave me that suggestion. 

The authors talk about Pathways in which we find it easiest to connect with the Lord. Learning styles, the way we connect the dots. Finally they get into different personality types. For the sake of brevity I will share what I have learned about myself as a result. Not an exhaustive list but something to consider.

Pathways I Love to Travel

Creation Pathway - People on the creation pathway are energized and replenished by being outdoors. They love camping, fishing, golfing, boating, or any activity that requires interaction with nature. If they are cooped up inside for too long, their soul starts to feel stale and uninspired. They see God in the spectacular, but also in the everyday outside world. People on this pathway need to spend large chunks of time outdoors. Whey they do, they will begin to sense a growing desire for God.

Contemplative Pathway - People on the contemplative pathway love large blocks of uninterrupted time alone. Reflection and observation come naturally to them. Images, metaphors, and simple thoughts help them as they pray. They have a large interior world of intra personal communication, and they don't require much external stimulation. Making time to listen to God in silence and solitude is vital to the health of their souls and necessary for them to experience a deepening sense of God's presence. They need regular, protected, intense, and undisturbed times alone.

Intellectual Pathway - People on the intellectual pathway are energized by intellectually stimulating conversations and debates. Ideas are as alive to them as people are to others. They love to study Scripture. They love thinking about theology. They read a lot. When in church, they usually don't enjoy the creative or music portion of the service nearly as much as the message. They solve problems by analysis and logic. They feel closest to God when learning about Him through great books, deep thoughts, complex conversations, and sound teaching.

Worship Pathway - People on the worship pathway have a natural gift for expression and celebration. something deep inside of them feels released when they are able to voice their praise and adoration for God. Some of there most formative moments occur during times of musical worship. They need to experience great worship on a regular basis. Likely, these types of people have favorite songs they listen too over and over as a way to connect with God.

Above you can see the places in which I crossed certain things off that do not pertain to me. Rather they do not ring true in me as to the way that I am wired. I am forced to stop this entry rather abruptly because of its length. I will get more into my learning styles and personality traits at different time, however, this I believe does serve the purpose intended. 

As I have been hanging out with the Lord many of these things have been highlighted in many ways. The Myers-Briggs description and the pathways described have been useful tools in learning about myself as well as the way the loves to engage me. I definitely want to engage this in a more passionate way as well. I feel as if I have been quite informative as to how things relate to me, but I do want to spend some time expressing from a deep place what this looks like for me practically. 

I believe we have to begin to simply be candid about these things so as to help others along on their own journeys. This is not to say I want anyone to emulate me in anyway, rather gather the tools that I have to share, and use them for yourself. How you engage with God, the dialog you share with Him, the way the way it comes about will all be tailored to who you are as a person. I have yet to meet anyone who has ever shared the exact same encounters as me verbatim. Many of us have had similar experiences, yet none were exactly the same.  

With that, I bid you adieu. 

The Greatness of Individuality

Well its a super chilly day out here on the ranch, and finally I have some time to actually write. Okay, let make a more true statements...I finally have the time and the spark to write. I have had many opportunities before to write, but never had the inspiration or the words to type anything.

I have been in Texas for  23 days now, and what a ride it has been. For the first time in a long while I feel like I am home. This time in Texas has afforded me so many different experiences that I still do not understand how I haven't passed out and died due to the shock of everything.  Many who know me have heard about this move, the stress involved with it, and the overwhelming sense of adventure that has been brewing. Now here, I have yet to be disappointed. I have been recording audio notes so I can compile a better blog at a later date. For now I just want to expand on the things that God has really been teaching me through all of this.

I find it quite interesting that I have come full circle on the whole identity topic...rather a new facet of the topic is unfolding before my very eyes. HAHA...I am getting wrecked by Holy Spirit right now as I am writing this. I pray a blessing over you as you are reading this. Holy Spirit as you have been doing a work in my heart concerning how fearfully and wonderfully I am made I ask that you would take the reader straight into the Fathers heart and begin to speak to that place in them. Let them experience the love of the Father, Son, and yourself. Shaka!!! So as I am living here on this ranch, Dad consistently has been talking to me about how I have been made. We have had so many fights its ridiculous. In 23 days I have spent so many mornings venting to God, cussing God out in my heart, blaming Him for certain circumstances, even at one point out right saying I hate you soooooo much. Yet, even now I cannot escape the depths of how much He loves me and continues to pursue me. He is so good at being who He is. In these 23 days have have been loved in ways I never imagined. I have felt him in ways that simply blow my mind. I have seen Him do things that just make my tear up and weep. Even through all of my temper tantrum throwing, He has faithfully walked me through the rockiest parts of my heart. I love HIM so much.

Part of the frustration that I had been feeling had to do with not feeling like who I am as a person really is worth much. I know the proper "Christian" answer is that I am loved and that I am worth much. Yet, that has not been the reality in which I have been able to perceive things. Man, I have felt pretty damn low if I just may be so bold. Inadequate, that is another word I would have used to describe what I was feeling. Let me be the first to say this...comparisons are fucking stupid. Comparisons are the thing that have robbed me and many others of our sense of individuality and value. WHY??? Because we see someone else and what they are doing and begin to try to emulate what they are doing...never once considering that maybe....just maybe...the way we are doing things is perfectly fine.

THAT IS A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT!

It happens within family units, school systems, the business world...heck...the Church as well. This stuff kills. I have seen peoples spirits get assassinated by one well places or ill placed comparison (just depends on how you are looking at this). I have seen some of the most vile blood shed take place within the psyche of an individual as a result of a comparison. How do I know...well...I lived it. For the longest time I was compared to my older brother. He was the model student. His temperament was excellent, and he was very compliant. At that point in my life...he and I were polar opposites. I loathed and hated the people that made those comparisons...but even more so...I secretly hated him because unconsciously I was losing myself to actually become so much like him. See he was consistently praised, given awards, and told how wonderful he was. Me...not so much. I was starved for those things. To be honest, I think I spent most of my childhood subconsciously looking for his approval so I could go back to being myself (wow, this is revelation for me).

So what do you think that these 23 days has consisted of?

Ding Ding Ding!!!

You guessed it.

Dad has been affirming just how wonderful and unique I am. As I stated earlier I have been fighting with Dad about a lot concerning this because of how battered my heart has been. We have spent close to 5 years on this topic of identity. Never really deviating from it. It has been the single most talked about thing between God and I. Moving to Texas has only heightened the intensity of the talk.

What has been amusing to me is that even though I have been fighting with God on this...I have noticed just how different people I have known for years are starting to look at me. The things they say, the way they talk...it has really changed. At first I thought they had changed and I was getting really frustrated about it. That is until God let me in on a secret. I was the last one to figure it out...I was the one that was changing. People are having a hard time recognizing me because I am becoming the man/son that I was originally intended to be. Which is kinda scary....okay....I almost peed myself when Dad started showing me what was going on.

I was in the office at work yesterday, and I started to read an article posted by my buddy Praying Medic. The article was talking about the journey of a prophetic feeler. As I read...my heart was instantly tenderized. Holy Spirit was already doing some prep work in me. I hit the half way point in the article, which was talking about valuing our gifts and repenting. I then felt electricity shoot through my body. It was so bad that I had to get out of my chair cause every time I felt a surge my chair was vibrating pretty loud. I started repenting for devaluing what God had given me as a gift. I finally realized that the gifts that I have...they really were gifts he delighted in giving me. That revelation had me doubled over and shaking. I felt things being put back and restored. As I continued repenting I saw moments of my life flashing before my eyes and I just apologized for telling Him some of the most hurtful things I had said to Him. I was starting to get that He really did love me. He gave me any of the abilities that I had because it delighted Him and that He wanted them to bless me.

After I left the office I started contemplating how I was wired. It was like a ton of bricks hitting me all at once. I finally got it. How I am wired is wonderful. The things that I love to do, the way I connect to God...its unique to me. No one will ever do it quite the way that I do it. As there are over 6.5 Billion unique people in this world...no one with the same finger print...so it is with the way that I connect to God. So it is with how I operate with Holy Spirit. It really is unique to me. He began to share with me that I no longer need to get offended by people who operate differently than me. Nor do I need to feel like I need to conform because people do not get how I operate. We have the freedom to flow with Holy Spirit on our own journeys. Always encouraging each other to walk with the God-Head the way we were designed to. Sharing wisdom and tidbits to help each other experience God in new ways. The best part was that I no longer have to be offended if people do not have the same revelation I have in certain things. I get to come along side and pray and ask Jesus to show them what he has been showing me in the way that will best impact their heart.

In 23 day something radical has taken place in me.  I realize before I was, God was BOUT THAT LYFE! What's more is that is continues to be BOUT THAT LYFE!

This blog is already more wordy than I had anticipated so I will do a part 2 update on this and expand on my personal frequency...the way I vibrate in the spirit and the way I am wired.

Father I pray right now that you would encounter your children. That you would show them how wonderful they are wired. Show them that you did not make a mistake with them. Bring specific moments into there hearts and minds that will help them remember how awesome you see them. I speak blessing and restoration over broken hearts. Dad, thanks for being SOOOO AWESOME! Jesus you are marvelous!

Monthly Challenge: 
I want to issue 5 challenges.

1. Everyday, take about 5 minutes and find 5-10 different things about yourself that you absolutely love. Take those 5 minutes and encourage yourself while looking in the mirror. 
2. As you go through your day find 1-2 different people and find 1-3 reasons to be thankful for them. This is especially good if it is people that you dislike or have a problem with. Take a piece of paper and jot down your thoughts. Compile them. After about a month select a few people from your list and write a little thank you note for them.
3. Find a way to go out of your comfort zone a 3 times a week to show extreme kindness to someone (they can be 3 different people).
4. In your prayer time with the Father spend 80% of your time in thanksgiving and praise, and the other 20% listening to what the Lord would have to say to you (meaning don't make requests, ask Him questions but make no requests.)
5. This one is a group exercise. Find some friends and every time someone makes a negative comment, that person is to find 3 positive things about whoever or what ever the comment was directed at. 

Stay Tuned for more fun!