Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Invisible Scripts: The Lies That Have Governed My Life

Invisible Scripts
I got an email the other day that has really had me thinking about my life. I decided to take on the challenge and take some time to figure out the hidden thoughts (invisible scripts) that I have believed most of my life that have impeded my journey to success. It never ceases to amaze me the things that can be uncovered as you pursue truth. The beacon of light shines brilliant as it eradicates a living darkness that tries to hide.

“I don’t have the skills necessary to get the job done.” – Often I will disqualify myself before I even start because I read things and think to myself…well the job requires this and I do not have ANY experience in this field. Sure I am willing to learn, but often see those requirements as inflexible and rigid. I am a Kinesiology Major who wants to spend my time making music with very little knowledge with music other than being a drummer and knowing how to keep rhythm. I feel like I am often disqualified from things before I am able to give them a try. Internally this is my biggest fear.

 “I feel wrong charging people money for a service that I can provide for free.” – I was taught that it’s not okay to charge people for services. That if you can do something, it’s better to give it for free. People will often times respect you more and will ultimately see your character shine through. I was also raised with the mindset that it is better to give that to receive. I mean I know I have different skill sets which all are used to equip people but never felt like people would really pay me for my time so it would be easier to just give my time away for free to gain rapport.

“I am not the leader type, who would actually want to follow me.” – I have typically been more of a behind the scenes guy. I like to stay out of the limelight and just make things work. As of late I have noticed that people always are looking to me for direction and it freaks me out because I like to be hidden. I had been told over and over that I don’t really have what it takes to be a leader, and that I must learn to follow if I want to be a successful leader. Most of the examples of great leaders I have seen were all the types of people who had this great charisma or ability to win a person with words…which is not me. I have felt because I don’t have the look of a leader then how could I possibly be a leader.

“If I only had the money…then I could do what I really wanted to.” – For most of my life money has always been a limiting factor in being able to take risks. I have been talked out of doing more things because of “wisdom” and “caution”. So I have grown to have this understanding that if you do not have the money for what you want to do, it may not actually be a feasible course of action. For example, I am a drummer. I have been a drummer for the last 20+ years. However, for most of my life I have not had a drum set to actually do what I need to do to take this thing to the place I want to go. Because of the lack of resources, I haven’t been able to pursue my dream in taking more lessons, purchasing a drum set, playing gigs, just investing in music period. I have figured if I don’t have the money, it is pretty impossible for me to do what I really want to do.

“I am not really business oriented; it’s not my strong suit.” – I definitely want to be wealthy, but doesn't it take a person who has a business like mind to make that work. I have never been able to readily identify what I have to offer the world outside of my consultant/counseling skills. I mean I know how to teach things and what not, but how does that even benefit me making any kind of money. Because of things like this I feel stuck. I feel like the way I think often is the obstacle for me becoming successful.

 “I don’t think I am capable of doing the task.” – Again I disqualify myself from being able to do things because of the perception of things being inflexible and rigid. I have an ability to adapt to my surroundings, but feel more often than not that I do not have the capability to accomplish the task set before me.

“I am not as bulky or big, so it doesn't look like I know what I am talking about health and fitness wise.” – I have been in a place where people judge based upon appearances and not necessarily the skills that one carries. I am 5’4 and 115 lbs as a male athlete. People do not take me seriously because I do not look like a body builder. I don’t try because I do not feel that people will take me serious because of my size. I want to be taken seriously because of what I have to offer and not because of what I look like.

My Thoughts
All of this seems quite horrible, as I sit down and read what I have written, but I cannot deny that this is what is going on inside of me. This isn't the politically correct way of thinking, I am quite aware of the problems that this presents…but the reality of it all is that my life has been informed by many of these things. My best decisions filtered through these belief systems. Perspectives informed by crappy ways of thinking. I took some time to do this as an exercise in becoming more familiar with myself and the factors that have been hindering my own progress.

I remember years ago that this was a practice that I would use to identify when I was allowing fear to be the controlling factor in my life. As I am growing out here in Texas I am finding that these subroutines or scripts inform more than just what I am aware of. It has gotten to a place where I am able to hear these things faintly as I am contemplating decisions I must make. In the past they were quite transparent and hardly visible. Now a days they are about as subtle as an elephant trying to sneak through a room with fine china placed neatly on the floor. They make SO much noise. Yet, I never realized they were the reason I was not moving forward or progressing towards what had been burning on my heart.

As I walked through all of this I realized that liberation could only begin to renovate my internal reality, as I gave it the freedom to illuminate the darkened caverns of my being. Sadly, the thing that always tends to happen is that the darkness becomes visible and begins to create a stink as it wants to stay as the dominant power. That becomes the sight of a battleground of epic proportions as belief systems collide, one being uprooted and the other being planted. What is planted must be nurtured, watered, given sunlight, and protected. Simply planting a new belief system offers very little lasting change if it is not influenced and built up by those who speak life into it.

These invisible scripts as dangerous as they are, often carry with them more detailed information that what we understand. Going through these for myself, I was able to identify relationships, time periods, and specific incidents where these things were built and fortified…and ultimately why I bought into them for so long. At times I often would glance over these details, but now realize that they are important as forgiveness always needs to take place where hurt and offense has crept in. See the exercise that I went through was for starting up a business, but I saw in it so many principles that connect to this one area that it was hard for me not to begin to play a game of connect the dots. Past experiences inform out present realities…something being so deep rooted that we are often put into a cycle of doing certain things without ever realizing that we are stuck in a feedback loop. It is as I began to pause that I realized crap…I was doing the same thing over and over 
again expecting a different result which Einstein defined as insanity.

Here starts the transition into areas of freedom in my heart that I have yet to experience. It has been given to me, but now it’s time to explore the territory. Never an easy task, but it is one that is worthwhile if done right. As always, the fork in the road appears a bit sooner than I expected. Just another decision that needs to be made from a place of courage and faith rather that fear and anxiety.

So here comes the BOOM…yet again!

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