First let me make this really clear, this blog has always been about the crazy changes that happen in my life and the experiences that I walk through. I have tried to keep this thing user friendly without the overtly “Christian” language, all the while staying true to my personal convictions. This entry is probably going to walk that fine line. I am going to state the obvious; I love Jesus, and think he absolutely rocks. Yet, through various entries you might have noticed raw emotions down to the occasional F-Bomb. I make no apologies for those things as they have been a large part of my journey, however, this particular entry will probably go in the opposite direction. So viewer discretion is advised if you are in anyway put off by the overt mention of Jesus, God, or Holy Spirit.
The journey of growth will take people in so many different directions; it is at times hard to fathom the place they started from. My adventure is really no different. I have progressed from being a religious robot, to religious zealot, to anti-religious freedom fighter, to a religion apathetic, to a simple lover of Jesus and people. From where I started to where I am now trips me out. This is 10 years of transformation that I am talking about.
I have learned a great many lessons over the past 10 years but a few stand out more than others. I have learned that everyone has a journey to take. Encourage them to walk with God, and bless their journey even though it might be different than yours. Even though you may disagree with their path, love them because they are worth it not because you agree with them or because they deserve it. The second but equally important lesson has been that communion with God is not just a religious habit; it isn’t just something that you do because you are supposed to. It really is like having a best friend that you do EVERYTHING with. Best friends hang out at times without saying a word to each other. Sometimes laughing and giggling at nothing. They do pointless things together because the time spent together was more important than the activity. There really is no replacing this aspect of relationship with God. It isn’t about reading a bible, going to a church, or doing these seemingly spiritual things. Nothing can replace time spent with the person.
Two of the greatest sermons I have watched in a great while were delivered by a guy by the name of ShaneWillard (please note Shane has a hyperlink attached to it, and Willard has a different link attached to it). It challenged me in a way that pissed me. I was mainly ticked off because I knew he was right. I had been sacrificing living in awe because of my continued pursuit of knowledge and understanding (my idols of sorts). These two messages really framed the last 10 years of my journey and put them into a perspective that has been such a blessing. It has been from this place that a new set of thoughts has begun to invade my brain space. Simplicity, something I have really never understood, has become something that I feel like I am beginning to gravitate towards. It feels so nostalgic in a matter speaking a breath of fresh air. It is not something that I can really explain via words, though maybe a picture might help in this instance.
All of this growth has sparked something within me which totally has messed with my understanding of abundant living. In these last 10 years I have experienced what I would call subsistence living. I went from pay check to pay check, month to month, wondering if I would have enough to pay the bills that I had accrued. Not a great feeling, and I know many can relate. I have recently had all of this challenged. Is it possible that I have misunderstood what it means to live and walk in abundance? Honestly, this question has haunted me for the last few years. It is quite difficult to live in a place knowing abundance should be mine, but always finding myself living in lack. It sucks when you see that the scripture says that we can live in abundance, but you see every circumstance turn on its head in a negative way. I never understood what the seeming problem was? However, this discrepancy began to drive me nuts. No one had answers and I was tired of living in frustration.
Somehow, I had over looked something so simple that I am sitting here kicking myself. One of the greatest themes in my life in the last few years has been the process of understanding the things that happen when we have a change in perspective. It is almost as if a whole new world opens up to us, though it had been there the whole time. When there is a shift of perspective what had originally been hidden begins to come into view. I chose to explore this idea as it pertains to the idea of abundance. What I noticed about my own thought process was that I had been completely focused on all of my expense and negative outcomes, that I really couldn’t see exactly what was coming in or what I actually had money for. This poses a HUGE problem for anyone who seeks to walk in abundance. From this place, we actually end up becoming “greedy” because we are focused on holding onto what we have. Whereas, if we could begin to understand what is coming in we would probably have a better understanding of the things we could give away. It’s easier to give away when you are aware that things are coming in. See the difference between the two is a flowing fresh water river, and a stagnant lake. One hoards water, the other distributes.
My understanding has changed a lot considering these ideas. I have begun to realize that those who typically are known for their giving, in the long run are the ones that have continually lived in abundance. Not that there are shaky months, but if you realize the amount that they have given away versus the “lack” they perceive, it might be astonishing just how much they have actually given away. What I am trying to say is, for some reason I am starting to believe that the abundance is found in what is given away rather than the things we are trying to hoard to ourselves. I really don’t have the best words to describe what I am getting at because I can see a glimmer of hope for those who feel like they have been doing so much yet haven’t reaped the benefits. Being in that place, I now wonder if maybe I have missed something. Can I be honest? For the longest time I have thought of abundance from a stand point of the total monetary or physical assets that a person has accumulated. This would fuel the fire of frustration because I was so focused on what everyone else had and what I was lacking. Being envious of others and comparing myself to them robbed me of something quite important. I am now aware that this definition is what causes the downward spiral of a poverty mindset.
A friend told me today, “…Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; you will be enriched in everything for all liberality, which through us is producing thanksgiving to God.” I have seen this principle play out for my parents, but never thought much of it until now. I can only imagine how much my folks have given out monetarily as well as via other resources. My parents are not the most well off financially, but it always seems as if they have more in the tank to give others. I guess that is where I get my sense of generosity from.
Maybe the problem is that we give more attention to what we don’t have and trying to get those things rather than being thankful for what we do have and how we can use that to help others. My conclusion is that the abundant life is a life of generosity. If we aren’t willing to be generous we cannot expect to live abundantly. It is a life style that comes at a cost; as leadership requires service, abundance requires generosity.
No comments:
Post a Comment