Time Machine: Back to the Beginning

This blog comes as a breath of fresh air as well as one of my more adventurous endeavors. The last few weeks have been nothing short of breath taking. The things I have encountered, the knowledge gained, and the wisdom imparted to me have kept me in a state of cerebral overload. As I take the time to sit and write, I am recalling one of the important questions that was posed to me during all that has been taking place. The question was this: “If you could go back to when you first became a Christian what would you share with yourself?” At first I felt like I had nothing to offer, but soon began to realize that it was not that I had nothing to offer its that I couldn’t boil down all the thoughts I really had. Spending time with this question I have found a few key things that I would share, teach, show myself. 

 

1. God loves you with no strings attached. – As seemingly in your face this might be, I remember being a kid that struggled through performance based living. Affection, praise, correction, and many other things were predicated on how I performed. Although it was never the intention of people around me to teach me this, I learned at a young age that ones performance dictated the kind of response you could get from the world around you. Perfection was the name of the game. If it wasn’t perfect, it was worthless. Although people’s words were flowery and full of what many would call “good” theology. All it taught me was good behavior is all you need for God. If I could go back to talk with my younger self, I would share in great detail the journey I went on, what I went through, and the most important thing I learned through my journey. My performance never changed how God looked at me. His love for me was just as great when I got my purity ring as it was when I lost my virginity. In His eyes, I was spotless and clean and there was nothing I could do to ever change that. I was considered righteous not because of how I performed but because of what Jesus did for me.

2. God did it for you and didn’t ask for your permission. – I know many people are going to be thinking how could you say that? Simply put. Before I was born…Christ died for me. Before I had the chance to sin or do anything wrong…Jesus died on that cross for me. I didn’t have a choice in the matter. What’s even better…the Lamb of God was slain before the foundation of the Earth. Go fig. Before Adam and Eve…Jesus had already paid the price. He already paid the ransom for us. How that works I do not know. What I do know is that Jesus did it for me before I could tell Him “yes” or “no”. So let me make this abundantly clear, I am not saying that we do not need to RESPOND to Christ because I believe we all have to make that choice. However, from His point of view forgiveness and reconciliation are a done deal and they are gifts that are already extended waiting for pick up. I was made righteous by his actions not my own. This is one of those sovereign God moves that I could not stop. Now don’t get it twisted I am not saying everyone is going to Heaven. However, I am saying that God doesn’t have to choose to forgive anymore since at the Cross that is what echoed across the universe. Being chosen by God means that his disposition towards you will NEVER change. You are chosen, esteemed, valued, and loved. All of that is determined before you could ever do anything or offer anything.

3. Everything centers around and finds its meaning in Christ. – This is another major thing I wish I had of know. One of the lessons I wished would have been modeled for me is what it looks like to daily walk with Jesus in such an intimate way. Being raised in a Pentecostal/Baptist home (my mom operated in a Pentecostal manner and my dad as a Baptist) I never really understood or saw consistently what it looked like to relate to Christ in a normal way. There were traditions and ways we just HAD to do things. Now at 27 I realize there are no formulas with God. The center of life is walking with Jesus. It is knowing Jesus. Not just knowing theology, but knowing the person…the Jewish Man himself. It would honestly take true discipleship which I never experienced. Nothing was made practical or plain. Nothing demonstrated. It was theoretical. I would share that questions are important. Don’t simply settle for “good” theology. There is more to this than just having everything right! Jesus wants you to know Him and He wants to know you. That is the place you will find fulfillment. Words can’t describe it. It is a place you must traverse for yourself.

4. Grace is not a doctrine nor a theology He is a person! – After being stuck in so many cycles and what not I have come to realize I got some pretty shitty advice as I grew up. For the longest time I honestly thought there was a way that you could abuse grace and God would throw you out for it. I have since matured and come to understand that grace just like love comes without conditions. Actually, if you wanna kick a habit, its actually grace that empowers you to do that. Even when you screw up 99 times it will still be grace that keeps you moving forward into the freedom that was purchased for us. Yes, even after willful stupidity grace still empowers us. WHY? God promised to never leave us nor forsake us. Saying that grace would be taken away from us is just like saying Jesus is fed up with us…NEVER GONNA HAPPEN! Jesus is the grace of God that appeared and that continues to teach us to deny ungodliness. Even better…where sin abounds…there JESUS IS ALL THE MORE! Why it is his kindness that leads us to a change of mind or as the old folks would say, leads us to repentance. Grace isn’t a theology. It is a person who is intimately acquainted with our short comings and failures. Yet, he is determined to stick with us to teach us how to overcome all of those things! When we understand who grace is, it becomes impossible to abuse it. Coming in contact with grace begins to change us from the inside out. Which is remarkable!

5. Jesus is your model. Holy Spirit is your guide. The Father is your strength. -This right here is something I am passionate about. All of the other things that I have shared are quite important to me, yet this right here is where my fire starts burning. Being born with a prophetic edge has led to more than one issue with my gifts being abused, misused, misunderstood, or degraded. At 27 I started to understand the importance of Jesus being my model for everything. Not a pastor, not an evangelist, not an apostle, but Christ Himself. Unknowingly I had lived my life in such a way that I was trying to emulate other people rather than Christ. To the point where I would much rather have someone else’ amazing exegesis of a text rather than the simplicity of Christ. I went for natural wisdom rather than the wisdom of God also known as Christ. I subtly had been opposed to Jesus because I was sticking with doctrines and belief systems that actually prevented me from seeing Jesus manifested in the world around me. I was often told to be careful because it isn’t what Jesus would do…or that stuff stopped with the last apostles. I am so glad I was wrong!!! See, I didn’t learn about the person of the Holy Spirit until college. When I finally met Him I was SOOOOO pissed off. Why wasn’t I taught this earlier in my life? I never knew I was supposed to have a guide on the journey. Life drastically changed when I met Him. What I thought was wise became foolish. People started to look at me with strange looks because I would do some off the wall things…only to see amazing transformations happen within others as well as myself. I remember my last semester of college I put Him to the test. I said if you want me to know scripture you are gonna have to teach it to me first hand. I will not open a bible at all because I absolutely know nothing anymore. You teach me from the ground up. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! WHAT AN ADVENTURE! I learned more scripture in the semester than at any point in my life trying to memorize scripture. HOLY CRUD! He was doing things that I had never heard of before. Better yet, it freaked people out because…He began to show me what prophecy, words of knowledge, and words of wisdom were. The gifts were alive and well. Years later, I meet the Father. It was another one of those moments where I was like…THE HECK?!?! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE SHOW ME HIM SOONER??!?!?!? That is where I currently am right. One face to face encounter with the Father changed so much about my life. All I can say is, when you meet Him you will know. You will understand what real strength is. You will throw everything away simply to be with Him.

These are just a few of the things I wish I had of learned when I was introduced to Jesus for the first time. The journey hasn’t been horrible, but there are so many things I could have avoided and so much more peace I could have encountered had I known some of these things. I have no regrets in my life up to this point. Yet, I do know if I had the chance to go back and share these things with myself I would. So many things would be different. The most major lesson would be simply learn to love. Learn to LOVE HARD! Don’t worry if people think you are crazy. SIMPLY LOVE! And watch God do what he does through you!