Time Machine: Communication, Relationships, and the American Dream

If communication was a fine art, I feel like I witness on a daily basis, a bunch of toddlers acting as if they were the next Van Gogh or Picasso. It is quite amusing when I read discussions or overhear conversations…people ranting and raving about a given topic, yet never actually addressing the issue up for discussion. As hard as I try not to bust a gut laughing, I find such exchanges quite disconcerting. How is that person A could make a statement, and person B respond in a way that neither addresses the statement but also takes a cheap shot at the character of person A? Or how is it that person C can share an opinion (not directed at anyone) and end up taking flack from person D? How is it that in the middle of trying to talk things out, these breakdowns simply continue until someone ends up hurt, damaged, or angry? Anyone ever notice that a person can repeat the same sentence several times in a row and people still hear exactly what they want to hear? I submit that one of the primary reasons for this is simply…a lack of real listening/reading comprehension skills.

Text based communication is a quite different than face to face communication, in that one cannot really infer the tone of voice used or any other nuances that would be quite apparent if one was to sit face to face with the person they were talking with. Our reactions or actions, are typically based off of what we perceive to have been said or done. We lump motives, attitudes, and outcomes all together in a split second judgment call. Said judgment is our reference point from which we engage the conversation. Having been a perpetrator of this, I do not mind sharing all of the dirty little realities about having selective hearing or reading skills…especially if pride is on the line. In the past I have used my communication abilities to twist things that people have said, so as to belittle them and beat them down for the sake of WINNING the argument. (You lose a lot of friends this way). More than that, I lost a lot of credibility that I would have to earn back. Communication is not a competitive sport to win, but a collaborative effort that empowers all those who participate.

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. –George Bernard Shaw

Communication in all its glory is one of the major tools that help foster excellent relationships. When it comes to romantic relationships as well as dealing with roles between males and females I have noticed that this is an area that is frightfully lacking in understanding. I have been privy to a few awesome conversations in the last week about gender roles (in the religious context), the differences between what men need vs. what women need, and what it means to be a Man/Woman in our culture. I am pretty sure you are now starting to understand where I am heading in today’s blog. I am convinced that relationships that fall apart do so because of a breakdown in communication.

Though I have much to say about gender roles and what it means to be a man/woman, I am going to take some time to flesh out the idea of what I as a man need and how I communicate. First, let me start off by saying…I AM HIGHLY EMOTIONAL!!!! I FEEL DEEPLY!!!! Second, I am a thinker (analytical and logical). Lastly, I am passionate and intense. Alright, with that said…My primary love languages include: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Quality Time. Let me redefine this…As a male I love to know that I am respected and what I have to say matters/do/offer matters. As a male I LOVE being touched. I loved being hugged, kissed, and when I get married…SEX will be AMAZING! As a male, when I am in a relationship, I want to know that I am needed/wanted by my significant other. That when she looks at me I am all that she sees. She is primary on my heart and mind to keep happy and spend time with. (Sounds a lot like my primary love languages huh?? Interesting!) I believe as a male I process things a lot differently than a female. Which is okay, we were made differently for a reason. I feel this is the reason that communication is SO IMPORTANT!

 To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others. –Tony Robbins

In talking with a friend last night (THANKS SARAH R.) we both realized that in dealing with the opposite sex we must understand the importance of communicating in the way that they can best receive. Instead of trying to be stubborn and communicate in a selfish manner, we take the time to learn the language of our significant other. A friend and co-worker pointed out the value of communicating intentionally and the importance of taking the time to actually listen. It does no one any good if the bulk of the conversation is spent trying to prove the other person wrong.
So in response to the topic that was presented to me this morning about the issue of the needs of men vs. women, I simply have this to say…Both sides are right. There is no dispute. But you have to realize that you are coming from two different perspectives from which you are viewing things from. A woman will NEVER be able to see things through the male lens in its totality, but the reverse is also true. There are many nuances so generalizations do not work for everyone one. With that being said, with the way the subject was brought up…it would pay to simply stick with the question or thought that was being presented. Making an argument about something that was irrelevant to the topic as a whole serves to throw a wrench in the whole communication idea that I was talking about as the top of the blog. It puts people at odds when there is no need for it. Valid points were made across the board. However, where I draw the line is where subtle cheap shots are thrown to prove a point. Personal opinion…NOT OK! :)

All of this plays into the idea of The American dream for my generation. I am not sure that it has ever been communicated in this way so I will do my best to echo what I have heard over the years. My generation values relationships and great communication….WHY??? Because in a lot of ways our parents pursued an American dream that left really NO time for us. This is not a low blow directed at the previous generation in the least. However it is a wake up call so that many will begin to have eyes to see the things that we value.

A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship. –Rainer Maria Rilke 

My Father, now retired, worked at his job for 30+ years. Talk about longevity. It paid the bills, gave my brother and I many opportunities, and a lifestyle he NEVER got to live. I am extremely grateful! I love how my Dad sacrificed for me. Though, now being a 27 year old…if I could go back in time to give my Dad some advice…it would go like this…, “Dad, thanks for all you are doing cause I know you are thinking of me. I know you are concerned about my future. Pops, I don’t need all the stuff. I don’t need you to spend countless hours at the job, only to go to the church right when you get off. I don’t need all of the trips. What I need is you! What I need is not the toys, the games, the greatest house….I need your presence. I need to know in an intimate way that I am loved by you. That I am valued and cherished. That the ideas I have make you proud.” I would say the same thing to my mother as well. It isn’t because I am ungrateful, but rather that I have learned something and know how to clearly articulate what I have needed all of these years.

In my generation there seems to be a push for the original American Dream…, “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.” I live in a generation of dreamers, that want more than the 9-5 rat race of cubicle living. We are caught in a sticky place of wanting to explore all of the uniqueness that makes us who we are but living in this world that our parents and forefathers created for us that say you have to follow the formula to actually be successful. I have a 4 year college degree, and a job…I AM IN NO WAYS HAPPY WITH HOW I AM LIVING…Why you ask??? Because it is void of adventure, creativity, passion, and excitement. You might ask…well what about your children??? Yes, I do think of them. I want to leave them a legacy that reminds them ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. GO FOR IT AND TRUST THE FAITHFULNESS OF THE ULTIMATE FATHER.

See for my generation we crave relational intentionality. We are not catching these things by osmosis. We crave a raw realness from the generations around us as well as our peers. Cookie cutter answers and methods do not suit us. We are deep thinkers who ponder mysteries, whose minds and imaginations race among the stars. We are creators shaping the world around us. What we “lack” is meaningful worthwhile relationships with those who should be closest to us. If I could only share my deepest dreams and secrets with my family and have them really understand…it would do my heart good. But I know too many others who feel the same. Our generation cries out for the freedom to try! The freedom to make mistakes! The freedom to be bigger than the circumstances that often attempt to limit our potential. This is the generation that I am a part of. This is the generation I identify with. I don’t need a house with a lawn, a dog, and a white picket fence. Let me do what I love with out restriction…give me a healthy, supportive, community and I will be okay. Give me some wind so that I can learn to fly and you will see great things happen.

My parents dreams for me are just that. "Their" dreams for me. I love my parents SO MUCH. I just have a different vision for the life that I must live. My dreams are different. 9-5 isn’t my cup o tea. I am an artist…I need to spend my days creating. Otherwise…I will be 70 regretting the things I could have done, but never actually did. That is not the way to live.

A fun fact, a lot of you reading this blog probably have inferred that my tone has been rather harsh, sarcastic, and/or mean. However, from where I am sitting as the author I can assure you that I am actually coming from a lighthearted, jovial, yet contemplative place. As such, if you thought my tone was harsh, your defenses would have been up and you might not have actually taken the time to finish reading the whole blog. I know this is a generalization, but if one finds offense with something written…often times they will begin to skim through what is being said and look for red flags, or buzz words in which to argue with. So if that was you (I was like that quite a bit when I was younger), I would just ask that you take some time to re-read all of this. These are simply my thoughts on communication, relationships, and the American dream. They are all subject to change as my perspective of life changes. :) I cant wait.
Blessings!

Time Machine: Me A Year Ago

My fingers move frantically in a sporadic fashion….my thoughts slowly moving in and out of conscious space. Do I try typing what is in my mind or do I simply wait for that bolt of inspiration (I came back to do some edits because I decided to let my fingers just type). It is at this point where I stop and stare at this mountain that is seemingly barring my path to freedom. Many a writer will find themselves at this point …that mountain known as writers block (This place has prevented me from writing for 4 months now). For what reason, I know not, yet a worthy adversary it has proven to be these many years. This feeling in the pit of my stomach…things are vastly different than before. Change is what I feel, yet what is it that has changed? What is so different now than from before? Serenity…stillness has settled into my once wavering heart (A lot of my memories have started to be healed). The frantic pace that once consumed every part of me has become still.

Emotions that ran deep, with tints and hues to match also have become still. As colors blend, swirl, and accentuate each other on the palette of a master painter, so my emotions have now become. Oh how I love the clarity that has come. New language and vocabulary have captivated my heart clearly expressing my disdain for the mundane (Seeing everything from this lens causes everything to just look the same). There is no such thing has ordinary or common…unique, intricate, and personalized have things now become, rather my perception is now picking up on this reality. As a master taste tester can recognize every nuance in the dishes he samples so is it becoming for myself as I take time to steady my introspective gaze. This mountain that used to cause such melancholy disturbances within my soul has turned into a simple mole hill on my journey of growth.

For one whose vision was severely impaired because of fear, seeing in such a panoramic view is breath taking. Creation is much more vast and beautiful than I first realized (Colors, sights, sounds, even the range of emotions). The people I encounter on my journey each unique and different much like the various cells in my own body, each needing and wanting to be loved and understood in a unique and special way. There is no one size fits all plan in this world I am finding out (A point I cannot stress enough). Each has something that makes it special and unique. I am finding that for things to fit properly, they need to be tailor made. Yes, it takes a lot more work and effort to tailor make things. However, the benefits outweigh the costs. When one makes something that is designed for one specific person…usually the quality, time spent, and effort going into these things sky rockets (Most of the time people pour themselves into what is being made). Yes, it also means that the amount one can produce is severely diminishes, however, the ability to focus and create based upon the nature of the person you are making the item for goes up. Also time spent with said person increases the capacity to adventure and stumble on to new ideas that might bless them. The tailor making process is not one that can be rushed (Creativity does not flourish under pressure). It is one where an intimate amount of time is taken to produce something that will fit properly, beautifully, just the way the person receiving the item needs it. Despite how many other people might feel about what you are doing…the only person that really matters is the one you are tailoring the good for. If they like what has been created, it fits well, and it suits them…there is not much more one can ask for.

I have begun to realize just how important this process is as I continue learning about myself and others. One cannot simply stop walking forward simply at the behest of someone else, who is on their own road, to do all of the exact same things the same way. Though it might work, it is not going to be the best way to do it. For example, I am 5’5 and 125 lbs. Yet I am NOT built like other people my size. See, I have a rather short torso, long legs, and long arms. Unknowing to me, I did not realize these mechanical differences were important for my development as an athlete. I was always taught text book technique for playing sports. Which means it was a mass production of how athletes are supposed to run, jump, and throw. There was one problem…it was all based off athletes whose bodies were pretty proportional to one another…which I DID NOT FIT!

Being 5’5 with long levers meant that I would have to do things a bit differently, so I do not put unnecessary strain on my body. Yet, I was never told this as I grew and developed. So as a baseball player I spent most of my high school years with bicep tendinitis because no one caught on that I was doing things in a way that was making my underdeveloped body scream out in pain. Though, I knew something was wrong…people didn't may much attention to me. They knew better than I did what I needed and how I needed it. I should have been more adamant back then, but there is nothing I can do about it now. See mechanically my body could not handle the stress or strain of following the mass produced mold of doing things. It actually caused much more damage to me than good. Though I learned many things, I am glad that damage suffered was not irreversible.

Experiences that I had long forgot are now starting to pop up and remind me of the value of learning how to walk your own path (Not the path that people expect you to walk, but the one you were designed and created to walk). I am learning how to take advice and correction, tailoring it so that it fits perfectly. I was never meant to walk in the shoes or footsteps of any other person, because time taken trying to walk in their footsteps, down their roads, is less time spent walking down the road that I was meant for. Honestly speaking, “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” Yet, one of the scary/frustrating things that I have been seeing is that, if you do not take a person’s advice as it is given, offense will pile up. I am unsure why this happens, and why people feel so slighted, why I have felt so slighted when people didn’t follow my opinion and advice perfectly.

Maybe it is because we feel little value if things are not followed perfectly, or the subtle pride of feeling as if we need to have people follow after us because somewhere down in our hearts be believe we have these things figured out perfectly (I have been guilty of doing this in the past). Either way, I have come to a place where I realize people have to work their own lives out. The path people will walk will differ, and it becomes unreasonable to ask them to travel a road they were never equipped to walk down. For me to share what has helped me grow and developed is a great thing to do, but to expect people to walk those things I have shared, in the way I have walked them out is totally stupid.

I am a 27 year old kid. I have so much to learn (Yes I did just call myself a kid). But I have to learn it as I walk the path laid before me. I am finding that it is neither disrespectful nor dishonoring to remind people of such things (Contrary to popular belief and what many are taught about honor). I may not have your life experience, but the reality is this…there will be no one on this planet that shares all the same experiences as I do. There will be no one on this planet that perceives those experiences the way I do or are affected by said experiences the way I am. It is always honorable to hear someone out and be thankful for the heart behind the thoughts spoken, but not everything has to be implemented or even considered (This is the part that is hard for many to swallow…especially parents and religious leaders). I am finding that it is less about who is right or wrong, but learning to care for people in the process. My responses should never be dictated by another.

Knowing that I am a powerful person and have the power to choose how I will respond to any given situation has helped alleviate the pressure of having to conform to what is “expected” of me (Expectations can kill a person before they even begin their own journey). I am not bound to expectation. There is so much freedom in learning that no one else can dictate to me what I should, what I need to, what I have to, or what the right thing to do is. Fear is a limitation. It will always be. Rejection, shame, guilt, condemnation, and pride are all limiters on what it means to live in the fullest expression of freedom. They rob you of the ability to consciously choose how you will operate. Yet, conversely learning how to LOVE actually will empower you to make hard choices and value those you come into contact with.

Righteous Judges Or.....????

I am kind of curious as to why homosexuality gets more air time in our country than say, the 7 deadly sins? Is it just me or is there some kind of discrepancy in the way that we go about understanding important issues as a “church culture”? Does homosexuality have more deaths associated with it than any of the 7 deadly sins? Does it cause more of a break in relationships than any of the 7 deadly sins? I am not saying this to condemn anyone, I am just curious. Why is it that the church takes a zero tolerance stand on one sin rather than others which are more prevalent? Those in the LGBT community are in a lot of ways barred from taking ministry positions, but I have seldom seen anyone who chronically operates in the “7 deadly sins” told that they cannot pastor a church or lead worship. So far I have counted 11 verses in the bible the deal with homosexuality as a sin, 90+ dealing with pride, 35+ on greed, 80+ on gluttony, 80+ dealing with lust, 40+ dealing with wrath (hate), 60+ concerning envy, and 70+ concerning laziness. There were however about 100+ dealing with sexual immorality as a whole.

Though greed has the lowest numbers of the 7 it is still mentioned 4 times as much as homosexuality as something God dislikes. That should really make someone think about what is important. But really, who wants to have to confront someone about an issue that on some level we all deal with? Wouldn’t that be hypocritical? Who wants to have that tough conversation and really have a heart to heart about 7 vices that are really common to your average Christian? It is much easier to point the finger at someone who is obviously “in sin” than to turn that finger on someone who walks in pride, or is hateful, or lazy, or greedy, or gluttonous, or lustful, or even envious. Heck, we can rationalize the hell out of the “7 deadly sins” but with homosexuality you really can’t.

All sin is detrimental to the person who walks in it. There are obvious consequences for making poor choices. However, it would seem that our current culture seems to want to empower the “7 deadly sins” by trying to crucify those who are a part of the LGBT community. (Not saying that this how it always is, but it is self-righteousness as its best or worst depending on how you look at it.) What is displayed is a type of deflection that happens when we know we are wrong but we want to draw the attention away from ourselves and put it on someone else. This is where I would begin to apply the parable of the speck and the plank that Jesus talked about. Depending on where you go, the culture of the church practices trying pull the speck out of someone else’s eye without first notices they have a large 2x4 in their own eye. Sadly to say, it is a culture of accusation rather than restoration and reconciliation, of which I have been a part for quite some time.

I am learning currently that as I begin to deal with myself, there is really no place to deal with others. Meaning as I am learning where I fall short, it gives me no space to judge another on where they fall short. Those who have been forgiven much love much. There is such a level of compassion that becomes available as we understand just how much we have been forgiven. In my conversations with God I have been told on many occasions that it is not my place to try to change a person’s lifestyle. It is not up to me to try to convict them of whatever they are doing. Simply put, I am not better than Holy Spirit in the convicting business and I need to stop trying to do his job. The task given has always been to love people right where they are, and expose them to the presence of God. NOTHING ELSE! However, having been brought up in a form of zealous Christianity, I was taught to beat people up with scripture, tell them all the things that God hates about what they are doing, talk about how they would not inherit eternal life, and the like. I forgot the simplicity of the kindness of God leading people to repentance. I forgot that love looks like interacting with people based upon what they are worth not what they deserve. The perspective and dynamic changes when you begin to see a person’s worth from God’s eyes, versus what they deserve because of their behavior. Said another way, when you realize that you don’t deserve anything that you have and that it is all a gift, it becomes a bit easier to interact with those who by Christian standards don’t deserve anything at all.

As I write this, I can feel many scathing rebukes. People want to hold on to their opinions and perspectives more than they want to listen and understand. Their version of righteousness requires certain moral behavior that at its root stems from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Whereas the gift Jesus gave was His righteousness that stems from the tree of life. I can understand how this might seem like I am condoning sin, but really I am hoping to bring into the light that, if we are going to focus on calling sin out in people’s lives, it is best to use the same measure on ourselves before going after the “sinners”. But then again, even that very act is rooted in us acting as judge, which is what transpired when we partook of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I know this might sound a bit extreme, but if homosexuality is going to garner such attention then we might as well start doing the same thing to ALL those who fall short in these other areas (the 7 deadly sins). Yet, the reality is if we were to do this, there would be many a church that would need to close its doors.

A bigger issue begins to arise when we choose to make judgments that we are not qualified to make against people we are called to love. Many, including myself, have made it a habit to judge people based upon personal standards we carry and interpretations we have on various scriptures from the bible. Growing up, my parents used to tell me and my older brother drinking alcohol was a sin that would lead us to hell. At 28, I think that is absolute rubbish and nowhere in scripture will that story be corroborated. However, it is still a conviction of my parents that drinking is a bad idea. Thankfully, my parents have grown up enough to realize that it is not a sin, nor will it condemn a person to hell. They have had to let go of a place of judgment that they held onto because of past experiences. Judging people based upon a faulty understanding of morality, ethics, and righteousness does not help people grow together. Ultimately these types of judgments end up pushing our fellow man away from us under the guise of being moral and right. This was never the intention of God for humanity.

I remember reading a scripture that says, “…love covers a multitude of sin.” I know this might be out there for a lot of people who have been sin hunters for most of their days, but what would happen if we stopped bashing people for their sin and actually do what this verse says? I mean Jesus did take care of our sin problem by taking them to the cross. Jesus has never once called us by our sin, so why is it that we continue to stand as accusers calling those who fall short by their sin? Does that make since?

I am well aware than many will have missed the whole point of this blog because they will have read some parts that conflict with their theology. Honestly, that is okay. It isn’t something I am worried about. But, my heart is this, how long will we continue to live off of the fruit that condemned us to death and when will be start eating from the tree that was meant to sustain and bring us life? When will we take Jesus seriously and love one another based upon our worth rather than what we deserve. We cannot afford to sit in a seat of judgment, because we become unjust judges. We are not qualified for that position. However, we have been qualified to love. I think it is time to take our rightful spot.

Again, I would like to stress that I am not condoning sin in the least. Nor do I think homosexuality is a lifestyle that should be led. However, I also think lust, envy, greed, pride, and the like are equally as bad. They all belong together in the same category known as sin. All sin has the same remedy and solution. It is Christ crucified. Justice and Judgment for ALL SIN!

Growing in Abundance

First let me make this really clear, this blog has always been about the crazy changes that happen in my life and the experiences that I walk through. I have tried to keep this thing user friendly without the overtly “Christian” language, all the while staying true to my personal convictions. This entry is probably going to walk that fine line. I am going to state the obvious; I love Jesus, and think he absolutely rocks. Yet, through various entries you might have noticed raw emotions down to the occasional F-Bomb. I make no apologies for those things as they have been a large part of my journey, however, this particular entry will probably go in the opposite direction. So viewer discretion is advised if you are in anyway put off by the overt mention of Jesus, God, or Holy Spirit.

The journey of growth will take people in so many different directions; it is at times hard to fathom the place they started from. My adventure is really no different. I have progressed from being a religious robot, to religious zealot, to anti-religious freedom fighter, to a religion apathetic, to a simple lover of Jesus and people. From where I started to where I am now trips me out. This is 10 years of transformation that I am talking about.

I have learned a great many lessons over the past 10 years but a few stand out more than others. I have learned that everyone has a journey to take. Encourage them to walk with God, and bless their journey even though it might be different than yours. Even though you may disagree with their path, love them because they are worth it not because you agree with them or because they deserve it. The second but equally important lesson has been that communion with God is not just a religious habit; it isn’t just something that you do because you are supposed to. It really is like having a best friend that you do EVERYTHING with. Best friends hang out at times without saying a word to each other. Sometimes laughing and giggling at nothing. They do pointless things together because the time spent together was more important than the activity. There really is no replacing this aspect of relationship with God. It isn’t about reading a bible, going to a church, or doing these seemingly spiritual things. Nothing can replace time spent with the person.

Two of the greatest sermons I have watched in a great while were delivered by a guy by the name of ShaneWillard (please note Shane has a hyperlink attached to it, and Willard has a different link attached to it). It challenged me in a way that pissed me. I was mainly ticked off because I knew he was right. I had been sacrificing living in awe because of my continued pursuit of knowledge and understanding (my idols of sorts). These two messages really framed the last 10 years of my journey and put them into a perspective that has been such a blessing. It has been from this place that a new set of thoughts has begun to invade my brain space. Simplicity, something I have really never understood, has become something that I feel like I am beginning to gravitate towards. It feels so nostalgic in a matter speaking a breath of fresh air. It is not something that I can really explain via words, though maybe a picture might help in this instance.

All of this growth has sparked something within me which totally has messed with my understanding of abundant living. In these last 10 years I have experienced what I would call subsistence living. I went from pay check to pay check, month to month, wondering if I would have enough to pay the bills that I had accrued. Not a great feeling, and I know many can relate. I have recently had all of this challenged. Is it possible that I have misunderstood what it means to live and walk in abundance? Honestly, this question has haunted me for the last few years. It is quite difficult to live in a place knowing abundance should be mine, but always finding myself living in lack. It sucks when you see that the scripture says that we can live in abundance, but you see every circumstance turn on its head in a negative way. I never understood what the seeming problem was? However, this discrepancy began to drive me nuts. No one had answers and I was tired of living in frustration.

Somehow, I had over looked something so simple that I am sitting here kicking myself. One of the greatest themes in my life in the last few years has been the process of understanding the things that happen when we have a change in perspective. It is almost as if a whole new world opens up to us, though it had been there the whole time. When there is a shift of perspective what had originally been hidden begins to come into view. I chose to explore this idea as it pertains to the idea of abundance. What I noticed about my own thought process was that I had been completely focused on all of my expense and negative outcomes, that I really couldn’t see exactly what was coming in or what I actually had money for. This poses a HUGE problem for anyone who seeks to walk in abundance. From this place, we actually end up becoming “greedy” because we are focused on holding onto what we have. Whereas, if we could begin to understand what is coming in we would probably have a better understanding of the things we could give away. It’s easier to give away when you are aware that things are coming in. See the difference between the two is a flowing fresh water river, and a stagnant lake. One hoards water, the other distributes.

My understanding has changed a lot considering these ideas. I have begun to realize that those who typically are known for their giving, in the long run are the ones that have continually lived in abundance. Not that there are shaky months, but if you realize the amount that they have given away versus the “lack” they perceive, it might be astonishing just how much they have actually given away. What I am trying to say is, for some reason I am starting to believe that the abundance is found in what is given away rather than the things we are trying to hoard to ourselves. I really don’t have the best words to describe what I am getting at because I can see a glimmer of hope for those who feel like they have been doing so much yet haven’t reaped the benefits. Being in that place, I now wonder if maybe I have missed something. Can I be honest? For the longest time I have thought of abundance from a stand point of the total monetary or physical assets that a person has accumulated. This would fuel the fire of frustration because I was so focused on what everyone else had and what I was lacking. Being envious of others and comparing myself to them robbed me of something quite important. I am now aware that this definition is what causes the downward spiral of a poverty mindset.

A friend told me today, “…Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness; you will be enriched in everything for all liberality, which through us is producing thanksgiving to God.” I have seen this principle play out for my parents, but never thought much of it until now. I can only imagine how much my folks have given out monetarily as well as via other resources. My parents are not the most well off financially, but it always seems as if they have more in the tank to give others. I guess that is where I get my sense of generosity from.

Maybe the problem is that we give more attention to what we don’t have and trying to get those things rather than being thankful for what we do have and how we can use that to help others. My conclusion is that the abundant life is a life of generosity. If we aren’t willing to be generous we cannot expect to live abundantly. It is a life style that comes at a cost; as leadership requires service, abundance requires generosity.